Mmm pizza, delicious pepperoni pizza! Why would anyone throw you away?
Nom nom nom…. It like a dream come true.
Hmm.. oh…wait…what happened? No where did it go? My true love.
It’s so dark and spooky, what’s going on? Have I died?
I don’t think so but I can’t see a darn thing. Maybe I’ve gone blind? Please no, why would somebody turn me blind when I’m so young and beautiful!…hmmm well so young!
Bloody hell it’s quite tight in here too and super stuffy! Where am I?
Shhh.. What was that?
That loud crash sounded like a door being slammed closed and the thud of footsteps. Whose were those voices? High pitch cackles, like children demonically laughing!
Maybe I’ve been kidnapped by evil little devil children.
My mum warned me about those when I was a cub. Devil children with horns and hooves. That like to poke and prod you like some kind of a pet.
Oh god no..why? Not devil children with horns and hooves! First you take my pizza away now this!
Seriously now…. why is it actually so dark in here? And why am I upside down?!!
My neck is all crooked.
Wait, maybe if I just kick my left leg out here a little bit.. and.. ah ha that’s got it!
Oh that sounded like a tear.
Oh well at least I’m the right way up now.
I must have ripped a bloody great hole in here, I can now see the light.
Thank you god for not turning me blind, I’m too young and pretty to be blind… I’m young ok I’m young.
Hmmm what is that outside? is that a suitcase? Fluorescent pink! interesting choice..yuck…oh god please make me blind again!
Ouch, why is the ground beneath me so bouncy?
Okay, let’s try and wriggle out of this nightmare.
Maybe if I squeeze my head through the hole and….ah that’s better. Thank goodness for fresh air. I was getting a very stiff neck and all clammy eww.
What was I trapped in?…Oh its only a backpack, with fancy brass buckles and a zip that goes all the way around the top. Thank goodness for the rip in the side pocket or I might never have gotten free.
Still. It’s all a little strange.
Why was I inside a backpack? I’ve fallen asleep in some strange places before but never inside a bag. I did once fall asleep inside a rubbish bin. There was a lovely piece of leftover pizza inside it and I stuffed myself till I fell sleep. Best Day Ever!
I nearly gave an old woman such a fright when she found me…
AARRRGGHHH!!!!
Who… who are you? Was…was it you that trapped me inside that bag?
Listen..I don’t have any money on me I swear. You can even check my pockets if you don’t believe me… I mean I don’t have pockets. Only orange fur.. look!
Please don’t hurt me..
Wait a minute… I know you. I recognise your face. You’re that stuffed brown bear from Harrods aren’t you? Yeah that’s right ha, look it even says so on the bottom of your foot.
Phew… I can’t lie you had me scared stiff there for a minute mate.. sorry, sorry Mr Bear?
Well I assume your name’s Mr Bear… or do you prefer Ted?
Either way it’s very nice to meet you Ted. My name’s Fred ha. Freddie that is, the Fox. You don’t need to call me Mr Fox that was my old fellas name.
It’s just plain old Fred, Freddie or Fredrick.
You see, me and you are from the same neck of the woods Ted. Get it? Bear, woods. Ha!
Well truth be told I’m really from deep inside Hyde Park. Lovely little den it is too Ted. Obviously not as swanky as your part of town I imagine Ted.
Although I bet your still a Chelsea fan aren’t you Ted? Yeah yeah I can spot one of my own from a mile away!
A ludicrous performance last week wasn’t it? Nearly lost my tail to that blumin Fulham mob too. Fantastic header for that goal though..HES THROUGH AND HE SCORES!
Oh ouch, my blumin neck is a stiff as a board Ted. It feels like I’ve gone and slept on a tree trunk.
You’d know all about that I bet wouldn’t you Ted! aye, aye.
Tell me something Ted, Mano a Mano. Bear to erm.. fox… What’s the deal around here? Huh?
Where exactly are we? Are we being fox napped? Is it those devil children Ted? Have they forced you not to talk? Did they sow Harrods to your foot Ted. Those dirty evil devil children.
Oof.. and why do we keep bouncing up and down? I feel like I’m on a trampoline. I can barely stand up straight.
Oh come on.. you can tell me Ted… Teddy boy… Ted Teddison from Teddington Lane.
Hmmm?
Fine..I guess you can keeping ignoring me with those stupid glassy eyes of yours just staring out the window.
In fact, Ted – what is so interesting outside that you refuse to talk to me?
Let’s have a butchers….
Okay, what have we got here? So we have grass… oh and a sign post… wow! That one flew passed really quickly..…more grass…..some blurry houses. Yep those house wizzed passed pretty quickly too.
Ah and a lake.. now that’s very pretty Ted. It almost reminds me of the serpentine back home…only…this one is enormous. It so big that it stretches all the way to those snowy mountains.
Holy crap Ted we’re on a train aren’t we?
How the hell did we get on a train? I don’t remember buying a ticket! Do you?
Wait a minute … I recognise that mountain Ted.
Oh my gosh that’s the mountain from the side of the Toblerone box. Ted…I think we’re in blumin Switzerland!
How in the holy hell did we get all the way out to Switzerland Ted? This is like a nightmare.
I can’t breathe Ted. I’m having a panic attack. This can’t be happening, I must be dreaming still… but why would I be dreaming of Switzerland? It makes no sense!
Hold my hand Ted, let’s breath slowly and try to figure this out. There must be a rational explanation for all this?
Devil children! No, no it must be something sane? Let’s not start with any crazy conspiracies.
Meditation…meditation is perfect for this sort of thing Ted. It helps to clear the mind and calm the body.
OOHHHMMM.. Join in Ted it’ll help. OOHHHMMM. Cross your legs and close your eyes like this.
I read in a magazine somewhere that’s monks do this for years and….. that’s it!
In Harrods Ted! It’s all coming back to me now.
I was browsing through the magazines whilst shopping in Harrods.
It’s not my local store you understand Teddington but it’s perfect for Christmas presents.
Oh yeah that’s right for mum. I wanted some fancy chocolates for my mum. Not Toblerone Ted, that’s usually in peoples trash by boxing day after they’ve stuff themselves silly with top notch chocolate.. you know like Quality street.
The purple ones only for me Ted I’m not a heathen.
I was looking for something special… Oh, oh and you were there Ted!
I remember… in fact I remember a lot of you’s Ted. It was like an army all stacked up on the shelves. Surrounded by tinsel and Christmas trees. Scary stuff all you with that same glassy eyed look of yours Ted.
That’s right and I started walking backwards away from…all of you’s but I tripped over and fell into a bag.. oh oh that duffle bag with the brass buckles. It was just left on the floor in the middle of the store.
I have a big lump on my noggin here Ted. I must have hit my head pretty hard because I don’t remember anything after that. Well until I woke up in the dark.
Oh no… and now I’m here with you, one single Ted. That doesn’t talk. On a train. In blumin Switzerland!
What am I going to do? I’ve got to get home to my mum for Christmas.
You’ve got to help me Ted? We’ve got to get back home!
Huh? What’s that?
Its those voices again Ted. It the Devil Children!!!
I can hear them getting closer.
Quick.. I’ve got to hide..
Ah ha! back in the backpack, great idea Ted. You’re a blumin genius.
It’ll give me time to think of an escape plan I reckon. There’s got to be away off this train.
I’m going to get us home Ted, I promise.
Now…Shhh stay quiet Ted they’re coming.